My journey has been an interesting one to say the least. Not too long ago, I was in the best shape of my life doing something that I sought such a passion in; Competitive Dancing. One day practicing on a trampoline, I came to see my dancing career come to an abrupt end when I blew out my knee. A torn ACL, a frayed meniscus, a fractured femur leaking bone marrow, bruised bones, and a complete knee dislocate. My view of the world and my part in it completely changed. With a long recovery, came weight gain, and insecurities. When I was able to walk again, I slowly started my fitness journey back to recovery, but my brain was shattered. For the first time in my athletic career, I had limitations. As my life was getting back on track, and I was finding myself loving being active again, I met my Husband Ben ❤.
About 1.5 years after Ben and I met, he was deployed to Afghanistan for a year and while he was gone, I was going through stressors of my own with work, and I just piled on the weight. I would try to fight the depression and stress by trying new gyms, but the stress would win, every..single..time. I was so embarrassed and ashamed feeling that I let myself go, that when my husband returned from deployment, I was back in the emotional, fragile state I was once in.
Telling myself I was a fighter, I jumped back on the wagon seeking every opportunity to get my shit figured out. I tried workout regimens, planet fitness, orange theory fitness, but I just couldn’t get there. I wondered, is it me? Am I just broken? Am I just stuck in this forever loophole? Then I realized, all the things I tried, had two things in common – a lack of community, and lack of variety. It was the SAME thing every single day; no challenge.
When I was a dancer, I loved it because every day I was working towards something bigger. I had a community where we all worked our hardest towards the same thing. That community was therapy. We all knew everything about each other’s lives, we were there for each other. Each day, all I wanted was to practice and be better than I was the day before.
Now, you’re wondering, where does the CrossFit part come into play? Well, three months into CrossFit, I found commonalities to something I once loved, and that is a sense of community, and something that challenges me. I absolutely love knowing the names and backgrounds of the people working out next to me, I love watching people hit their PRs and hearing about their lives outside of CrossFit. I am also drawn to the challenge of knowing my limitations and figuring out how I am going to overcome them. Nailing those double-unders, hitting a max weight load I never knew was possible, and being able to share it with people who actually care.
I am truly thankful, and I am so incredibly excited to see where this all goes. Even better, I love coming home to my husband and showing him my battles wounds, discussing my PRs and debating whose hand calluses are bigger 😊
Thank you, Haley & Joe.